Fighting Against Stereotypes From Childhood


We don’t know what we don’t know and we are unaware of what we are unaware of….Oblivion. Walking zombies–wandering generalities–these people seem to be everywhere. I meet them in my life coaching sessions. They are just on the treadmill of life, not knowing where they are going and not seeming to care. Their potential is wasted because their ‘programmed label’ is to be the same as everyone else. ‘Don’t stand out from the crowd – you will get mowed down. People in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones’. The moral of the story is don’t live in a glass house where people can see you and don’t walk in tall grass!

So many people are not aware of this “unknown programming” that makes them who they are today. We have been labeled as children–clumsy, slow, mischievous, naughty, sickly, bossy, little bully. My neighbour labels her child ‘a little devil’! When we identify these childhood labels we can choose to accept or reject them. We need to become an expert on ourselves. Where did my labels come from and do I want to keep them? Many people aren’t even aware they can choose their own labels. I have heard people say so often, “Oh, that is just the way I am!” Why? Your programming, and now thinking, decides who you are. The good news is you can change your label at any given time and work your way towards that new label. The labels that others put on us in our childhood may have hurt us but the labels we put on ourselves hurt us more.

I purchased a jar of pickles that has a label telling me what is in the jar, the ingredients, etc., but I can empty the contents, wash the label off and put in my own homemade jam. I can then re-label it. Same jar, different contents…You can’t mix pickles and jam. You have to empty out the old beliefs to fill yourself with the new. Getting rid of the old sticky label off the jar can take some time and work, but with a little elbow grease it can be removed–permanently. 

A lack of focus can best be described as a state of confusion, uncertainty, and impotency. When you aren’t focused, you kind of drift aimlessly along, not really sure what you want to be doing, or how to do it even if you had a clue. You don’t know what you don’t know…Other people define you and that can be confusing because different people and tribes define you according to their values. So how do we empty out the old ‘zombie’ and develop a laser-sharp focused mind? How do we design a new us?

First, take the time to stop and meditate. If there were no limitations on my life, who would I want to be? What would I like to accomplish? What would I love to contribute? What do I want to be remembered for? What memories would I love to create? What did you dream of when you were little before time and people robbed you of that dream? The Universe will respond just when you are absolutely clear and focused on what you want to achieve. You must have a solid purpose–a destiny that draws you–a guiding star that allows you to calculate exactly where you are on the high sea of life.

When you are 100 percent clear on your purpose, it WILL show up in your life. Circumstances and “chance happenings” will fall into place. And because you have a goal now, you see what you didn’t see before…opportunity. Your mind now becomes aware because you have followed the precise actions that compelled you to achieve that particular goal. Your natural gifts and talents are already within you, but may never have been released before. And for identity and release, focus is essential. But this will happen only to the extent that you are clear. You need to know that you know.

Setting goals and creating plans is really the easy part. It’s easy to say we’re going to do something, but do we actually have the discipline and the focus to follow through with specific intent? It is only when we know what we want and decide to go for what we want that focus can be applied. When we don’t know, the torch of focus constantly is scanning the room and we see nothing clearly. It doesn’t matter to us if we aren’t focused because we aren’t looking for specifics. True, it’s not simple to become focused in today’s fast-paced world where everybody seems to be competing for our attention and placing their values on us. But to achieve our chosen goals, to become more successful at anything in life, focus is absolutely necessary.

Is it possible to develop a focused mind, to achieve what we want despite all the voices around us?

Absolutely, we do this by deliberately staying on track with our goals and following the action steps. We may need to critique the method or even develop a whole new strategy, get different coaches or even alter the time frame, but the destination stays the same.

The key is “deliberately”. We must be on task to identify the interruptions in which any distraction breaks our focus from the task at hand. Once we identify any old habits or thought patterns, or ‘intruders’ (which can be well intentioned people and worthy causes) we must “deliberately” and willingly dismiss them and get back on track to our purpose. By now you are aware that ‘internal distractions’ are more challenging to deal with than external ones. It may be good to allocate some time to explore a few ideas and discover what helps you become and stay better focused. It may be a good thing to have a temporary break to attend to something that is important before it becomes urgent. We choose.

Asking myself constantly, ‘Will this activity or thought take me closer or further away from my goal?’ keeps me on track. When you apply this questioning technique on a regular basis your mind will form the natural habit of being focused despite the multiple distractions that may surround you. Keeping your mind focused creates the healthy vibrations that will guide you to your purpose. Focus removes the fog of confusion and brings awareness.

Sure, challenges still will happen and you will hit the proverbial brick wall. But you now know where you are going because you have identified your passion and your goal. You have designed a plan of action and you know how to achieve your goal. You are determined to do whatever it takes to get you there.

Decide that no matter what happens, you will keep moving forward, maintaining clarity of purpose, eliminating the fog of being unaware. Decide you will keep deliberately learning, growing and developing yourself as a person worthy of your purpose. Promise yourself you constantly will move towards your full potential and laser-sharp focus that never deviates from your purpose.

With that clarity in your attitude, you will become relentless and success will be inevitable! You have created your own label.

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