I Want Supportiveness, I want Fun-Loving, I Get Nothing, Why?


One of the most important qualities for me would be supportiveness.

How can someone possibly love you if they do not support your dreams, your plans for the future and your plans to be the best person you can be?

Again, you may think they are supportive, but are they really? In my experience, sometimes a person can be supportive as long as your dreams and plans complement theirs but when that changes, you are in for a challenge and a half.

For me, being supportive means being there, assisting and asking for nothing in return.

On one occasion, with a former partner, I thought I was being supported for a number of years but found out otherwise when I went on this self-development journey.

Once I was on this journey, I was hooked. Well, as I started to grow and make positive changes in my life, I noticed the more I grew, the more disagreements we had. I suddenly realized this was because she could see I was changing. It did not make her feel comfortable as she did not want things to change. She was quite happy the way things were.

You see, my changes were starting to make her unhappy while making me happier. Eventually, we resented each other for changing the world to which had grown accustomed. We parted bitterly because we no longer wanted the same things.

I had studied self-development for five years by then. So I was able to handle it much better than if I did not have the knowledge to deal with the horrible circumstances that come with a bitter divorce.

What about fun-loving? The next quality for me, which some might think unusual, is fun-loving. I put this particular trait high on my list because it combines the two most important ingredients in a relationship for me personally: “fun” and “loving”.

If you are not having fun, you are not laughing; if you are not laughing, you must be crying tears of boredom.

And without loving, you would not even have a relationship to begin with. I always try not to take myself too seriously unless the situation dictates otherwise. When it does, I always pick my moments carefully.

Having fun is the biggest motivation you can have when deciding to be something, begin something or continue something. The more joy you receive, the less chance you will compromise that emotion with self-sabotage.

One time I had a disagreement with my spouse and I saw the situation was getting out of hand. I stopped the conversation dead in its tracks by dropping to the floor and laying down for no reason at all.

When I was asked, “What are you doing?” I replied, “I’m sorry, I just couldn’t stand it anymore.” It does break the ice, believe me. A fun-loving attitude almost always will save the day in any conversation or potential argument. Everyone likes to be around people who make them laugh.

Insist on finding these traits in a mate and you will be rewarded in many ways.

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