Understanding Unfaithfulness, Warning Signs and One Way to Ease The Pain

In all my years, I never have met a person who, at one time or another, has not been tested regarding how faithful she or he really is to her or his partner.
My experience is most people have thought of being unfaithful to their partner, even if it was just a thought or just for a second. And if you seriously and honestly consider this within yourself, you will, in some way, have to agree.

The reason this occurs usually is because the passion has disappeared or diminished and, depending on the level it has dropped, will determine the level of your unfaithfulness.

For example, you two have had an argument and it has not been resolved for a while. When you meet someone of the opposite sex and they tick all the boxes for you, how do you feel?

I believe somewhere inside, just a tiny bit, you might feel like you want to be with that person intimately. And, of course, if you are having huge problems in your relationship and have tried everything you know for a long time to fix them without success, your potential for unfaithfulness also is very high.

Depending on your circumstances, you more than likely will end up having an affair.

For some reason, people think because they are unhappy and do not know what to do or fear what they should do, having an affair will solve their dilemma.

Let me tell you this only puts a Band-Aid on your problem, which usually gets worse as time goes by. You are only putting off the inevitable.

People have affairs because it is commonly known as the “easy way out”. It gets results quickly and does not interfere with the person’s comfort zones of living. Unfortunately, the outcome usually is short-lived.

In the long run, your situation gets worse. What I am saying is, do not be so hard on yourself if your mind slightly wanders into fantasy, as you are not really physically hurting someone in reality.

Let that kind of situation raise awareness that your relationship is in need of attention. You must be diligent in your actions to find a solution that will bring you back to wanting to be faithful again. But if this is not your intention, have the courage to end the relationship before you hurt someone in the future, because that someone may be you!!

If you do experience unfaithfulness, it is my suggestion you develop a sense of humor to ease the pain whatever you decide to do. If you have a great sense of humor, it is easier to look at the bright side of life. This will help keep your relationship fun and interesting if you choose to work out your differences.

However, we can have completely different opinions about what is funny and what is not.

So the question is, how do we obtain a great sense of humor? I mean, you can’t go to the supermarket and ask for a pound of humor, can you? Or ask your friend to sell you a personality and throw in some jokes on the side?

Like everything else, you need to nurture yourself and find out what it is that makes you naturally funny without looking stupid. Otherwise, you will fall flat and have the opposite effect on people, especially your potential partner.

I have seen many people try to impress the opposite sex with their humor, and the only thing they impressed was their ego.

There are so many different types of humor (dry humor being the least popular). So it is important to try matching your style of humor with your future partner’s if you are going to try making an impression. It might be a good idea to have a few of them up your sleeve in case your first attempt does not succeed.

To have an attitude of, “They either like me the way I am or I will just move on,” is fine if other people find you funny, easy to get along with, and would like to spend time with you. However, if they don’t, then this attitude will make your life a lonely one.

And that’s also fine, if that is your desired result. If it is not, then you might consider changing your attitude and sense of humor to attract more of the people you want in your life. Remember, the definition of insanity is trying the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. You don’t want to be known as insane, do you?

One of the worst things you can do trying to be humorous is making fun of someone at her or his expense.

I can tell you from my own experience they never will forget how you made them feel. People will forget what you gave them. They will forget what you have said. They never will forget how you made them feel, good or bad.

I attended a birthday party many years ago. I was the only one who arrived with a card and gift (other people arrived just to have a good time). To this day, that person cannot forget how I made them feel special on that day.

Yes, everyone was laughing at me, (at my own expense), but what a good feeling and lasting impression I left upon the person whose special day we were there to celebrate.

Another time, when I was attending high school, we were playing football. Our team was playing the best team at our school and the score at halftime was thirty-two goals to zero.

The ball never left our half of the pitch. I felt angry and my teammates felt dejected. The other team laughed at our expense because of how easy it was for them. Then, in the last quarter, for the very first time, the ball was close enough for us to score. I was amongst the scrum on the ground to have a chance to score for our team.

The first thing that came into my mind was this was going to be the one and only chance to score for our team during the whole match. Come high or dry, I was going to give it my all.

I had to get my boot on the ball so our team would at least have a digit on the board other than a zero. It took all the determination and strength I could muster but I pushed from the pack. While I was being tackled to the ground, I managed to get my boot to the ball for a score. No one could believe it, most of all me. There you have it; at completion of the game the score was fifty-six goals to one.

No one ever remembered the big defeat we suffered or who made the most scores. Everyone remembered the person who scored that single lonely point all those years ago and how excited my effort made our team feel when finally we had something to show for the beating we took that day.

Do something special that makes someone laugh or feel special, and you will have a friend for life; and that friend may be your spouse. Best wishes.